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:iconshouldeverbeforgot: More from ShouldEverBeForgot


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Writings by with-peacock-wings

lit. by onababona

Literature by lucifers-uke


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February 6, 2010
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She is some kind of animal
The way she looks at you
She could eat you
Her eyes burn like fire
When she grins everything turns white
she knows she's got it all

She is some kind of animal
When she dances
She could hypnotise you
No one can stop the spell she puts on you
Once she has you can't go back
she knows she's got it all
She is some kind of animal
yeah.

'Cause she's a catwalk criminal
Some kind of animal
She wants for nothing cause she knows she's got it all
My pretty voodoo doll, miss unpredictable
She doesn't know it, but she's gotta be all mine

Kane - Catwalk Criminal
</b>
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:iconnamenotrequired:
namenotrequired Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2010  Student Interface Designer
Aww, a song! Great, my favourite type of lit :D

The two-but-last line (or the 5th line of the last stanza, as you prefer) sounded a bit weird at first ("Once she has you, ... can't go back": it sounds to me as if one "you" is missing), but it should be really interesting to use in a song :nod:
I don't know if you got music to it, but in that line, you could really give the rhythm an interesting twist there to make it come out well... if that makes sense? :)

As for the meaning... I must say it sounds a bit shallow for my taste, if you get what i mean. Might just be my own interpretation though ^^;

Read like a poem, I'm impressed by how the nearly complete lack of rhyme doesn't bother or distract in any way despite my own fondness of rhyme. :D

But i'm not too sure about the lack of rhythm... maybe i miss something, but the lengths of the lines sound a bit... random to me :confused: But then it's a song, and you probably have an idea about how it should sound, in which case you can ignore that remark :D


=namenotrequired
Commenter at #Xpose-it
:iconxpose-it:


PS off topic, maar klopt het dat Kane een niewe zanger heeft? :XD: Of haal ik nu twee bands door elkaar? D=
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:iconshouldeverbeforgot:
ShouldEverBeForgot Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2010
:P thanks
en nee :P Kane heeft geen nieuwe zanger dus je haalt 2 bands door elkaar denk dat je Di-rect bedoelt
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:iconnamenotrequired:
namenotrequired Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2010  Student Interface Designer
:D welcome
oh ja :blush: sorry, die bedoel ik xD
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:iconshouldeverbeforgot:
ShouldEverBeForgot Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2010
:P Dacht ik al
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:iconchemicalwedding:
ChemicalWedding Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Shouldn't it be "she knows she's got it all"?

Either way, I like it but it seems so short, like there could be more. Good work though!
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:iconshouldeverbeforgot:
ShouldEverBeForgot Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2010
Thanks
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:iconidontspeakmuch:
idontspeakmuch Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2010
i find the third line in the first stanza most compelling.
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:iconruthieroars125:
ruthieroars125 Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2010
I like this a lot a lot. Great descriptions and word choice. The only thing I might change is the wording of "she could eat you" because it just sort of stands out as something less original than the rest of the poem. But overall, I really super love this :]
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:iconaliceknowsbest:
AliceKnowsBest Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2010
I love how your words flow. Very well written. I really liked it.
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:iconevermoon:
EverMoon Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2010
ˇYay! ˇBravo! ˇAncor! ˇAmor de Lol él!
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